Time Still Passes

Wow, it was April last I posted. Today doesn’t seem much easier to cope with than April, even though it’s August! I have good days and bad. Week before last was a really difficult time for me. I felt like I took a step back in time and everything was all new again. I hear things, I feel things… it’s really hard to explain. I think if I told everyone what I hear and feel – I’d be deemed crazy. 🙂

It’s just been over six months without him. I can’t tell you how much I miss the little things. I miss seeing him with my kids. My kids miss him so much, too.

I was a very active Facebook user and had to deactivate my account, by personal choice, to aid in my healing. People seem to think just because they’ve lost someone they know how I feel. Wrong. I can’t say enough how different a murder death is than a natural death. Coping with the fact that someone CHOSE to take his life. I used my status to air my thoughts and opinions, as most do on Facebook. Comments would roll in and even though I know they didn’t intend for comments to be hurtful, they often were. It’s very hard to bite your tongue with people who think they know what you are going through. So, to avoid being un-Christ-like and speaking my mind, I removed myself from it. Still having a tough time with Dads death and peoples comments weren’t helping. I’m just such an emotional wreck at times I had to remove myself from things that didn’t help me. I just wanted to scream at them sometimes. I just couldn’t take any more hits, so to speak… and to prevent myself from making someone very mad at me, I left. I haven’t missed it much, considering I’ve been on there for four years or so.

This week Dads memorial stone arrived. We should get it set this weekend. It’s stunningly beautiful. Dad would be amazed. He is so worthy. Nothing new going on with out criminal trail, still awaiting a trial date. Should be a few more months.

I’ve successfully taken over my Dad’s business. 5 months under my belt. Very proud of myself. Dad’s business has been in exsistance 23+ years and I feel honored to keep it going. I take pride in it.

I keep moving forward. I smile when I can. I pray for justice to be served. I know I’m blessed to have had such a wonderful man as my Earthly father and I know that one day I will see him again. What a day that will be!!! ❤

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1 Comment »

  1. Marleen Said:

    May God keep and Comfort you. It is difficult to keep on. Journal, pray, talk while you walk, talk and cry in the shower. And you are not crazy. You need to heal. I have little to compare to what you are going through.


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